Thought for the day

The statement above is something hard for me to do. I am a planner, however I do love doing fun spontaneous things. I wish Tom would be a little more spontaneous or maybe even plan something fun for just the two of us. I was once married to Tom but he wouldn't hold down a job, he smoked marijuana and had absolutely no respect for me as his wife or the mother of our child. He wouldn't hold down a job and he wouldn't even try to make our marriage work. Miraculously he decided after I divorced him to change so now after I lost my mother and my father went and found a girl friend way before I found a boyfriend (that is a whole another blog) he decides he wants me back. So here we go trying this all over. This time there will be no marriage. I have decided to give it a try I hated the dating scene and I do know him and his quirks. My thought really is I really haven't let go, let go of the loss of Marty, let go of the anger for him leaving me with two kids to raise all by myself and no manual on how to deal with it. How do you deal with losing your best friend? So I need to make a new friend. I need to start being honest and start opening up. He needs to start compromising, giving me the affection I so long for and the attention I deserve. I feel so empty inside and I think this is why I eat . I try and eat my feeling. Well my feelings run deep and are complicated,. Well enough of this for tonight i am tired and ready to fall asleep. Good night my friends,